Players mental health

[yorkstag]

Just watching the programme with Prince William and footballers

Something to think about when criticising players on here or booing and abusing

Thoughts?

[Sneag]

Mental health is important, but so a mental strength and as a society we seem to be sadly lacking it.

Now I'm not an advocate of telling people to man up and a strong cuppa will mate it all better in the face of real trauma and you can't underestimate the long term effects of stress, teauma & loss. But fer forks sake, the slightest little setback in live now & everybody is running for their safe space.

We've got people at work going off with stress because they get asked to do their job, nothing above & beyond, just what's in the job description. God help them when they face a real crisis.

[tinman]

Mental health is important, but so a mental strength and as a society we seem to be sadly lacking it.

Now I'm not an advocate of telling people to man up and a strong cuppa will mate it all better in the face of real trauma and you can't underestimate the long term effects of stress, teauma & loss. But fer forks sake, the slightest little setback in live now & everybody is running for their safe space.

We've got people at work going off with stress because they get asked to do their job, nothing above & beyond, just what's in the job description. God help them when they face a real crisis.

Good post
I'd dispear if today's generation is conscripted into armed service to protect the country

[yorkstag]

Wow! I thought the programme was thought provoking?

The initial response is quite frankly shocking

[Sneag]

Yorkstag what I'm trying to say in a ham fisted way is that there are two sides to this. The fact that mental illness is losing its stigma is brilliant and that in the past serious problems have gone undiagnosed.
The flip side of that is that there now seems to be an inability to face up to and work through even the most basic problem that life throws at you.
Life can be tough, it can be downright cruel but it was ever thus and as generations go, we've got it comparatively easy.
To draw a parrallel with physical illness. There are those in life, who get a cold say they have flu & go sick for a week or two. There are those who get a cold, take the appropriate placebo for the symptoms & go sick for the 48 hours they are infectious. There are those that get a cold make a big deal about 'manning up' and share it with everyone at work. Then thete's those that have flu, stoically soldiering on until they become seriosly ill. Okay stretching the cold v flu bit. But just as a cold isn't flu being a bit fed up isn't depression, you can't treat a bereavement with anti depressants, and you can't fight a serious illness with a stiff upper lip.

[yorkshire stag]

Wow! I thought the programme was thought provoking?

The initial response is quite frankly shocking

100% the black dog turns up to anyone irrespective how big n hard you think you are!

[Jamie]

I agree with what Sneag is trying to say. With less stigma, more openness and acceptance comes people either taking the pish with it or over playing their situation.

A good lesson to 'normal people' to take away from the show was that despite all these famous and skilled people having problems, secret or otherwise, they all got on with their jobs and did their best.

Too often now people feel down, depressed or whatever and use it as an excuse to give up. As time goes on the message needs to be that we all suffer with anxiety, forms of depression etc but that you must keep going, but get help and support to rationalise how you feel.

Just to add to that I get there are different forms of this and some are very serious, and putting a brave face on isn't always possible. What I'd like to know is what percentage of people get those very severe effects though. If you went by what the media or social media are pushing you'd think it was a far bigger percentage than it probably is

[Amber Andy]

Going back to Yorkstag's original point.

I'm sure most of our players felt devastated that they failed to get promotion especially after all the seasons hard work they have put in. So they would probably, like most of us when we fail, felt they were useless. To have some so called fans shouting at them, telling they were useless can't have helped the situation.

Having said that the majority of fans who stayed behind, did applaud them as they left the field.

[James]

Mental health is important, but so a mental strength and as a society we seem to be sadly lacking it.

Now I'm not an advocate of telling people to man up and a strong cuppa will mate it all better in the face of real trauma and you can't underestimate the long term effects of stress, teauma & loss. But fer forks sake, the slightest little setback in live now & everybody is running for their safe space.

We've got people at work going off with stress because they get asked to do their job, nothing above & beyond, just what's in the job description. God help them when they face a real crisis.

Good post
I'd dispear if today's generation is conscripted into armed service to protect the country

Just out of interest, how many years were you conscripted into the army during a war?

[Sedgwick]

Mental health is important, but so a mental strength and as a society we seem to be sadly lacking it.

Now I'm not an advocate of telling people to man up and a strong cuppa will mate it all better in the face of real trauma and you can't underestimate the long term effects of stress, teauma & loss. But fer forks sake, the slightest little setback in live now & everybody is running for their safe space.

We've got people at work going off with stress because they get asked to do their job, nothing above & beyond, just what's in the job description. God help them when they face a real crisis.

You don't know what a crisis is to some.... off with stress for "doing their job" you don't have a clue what else their dealing with... I get you think you're being nice and helping with it but this is part of the problem and the reason people don't open up and get help. If someones lacking "mental strength" then that's not a bad thing, something they need help with, not calling out on.

I work with a mental health company that's being backed by google and this sort of thing pops up all the time... "I'm not an advocate or telling people to man up.." "but fgs people go running to their safe space" Saying that first bit doesn't make it ok to then go on and say that.

Out of all the hate Alan Hardy got, I can guarantee im the only stags fan and one of very few who reached out and wrote to him checking up on his mental health. Be careful what you say to people. Ask if they're ok and if you can help... if someone needs to go running to their "Safe space" then let them. Society isn't lacking mental strength, its lacking a society that opens up and speaks about it, were slowly getting there but theres idiots like you still about.

[stag324]

This is an extremely difficult topic but comparing to ‘back in my day’ shows a lack of understanding.

The pressure today is far greater than it ever has and just because you can get over a simple set back doesn’t mean others can and should.

We all react differently a little knowledge on topics creates misunderstandings before understanding.

However by default we are at least discussing the subject

[mousemousemouse]

I agree with what Sneag is trying to say. With less stigma, more openness and acceptance comes people either taking the pish with it or over playing their situation.

A good lesson to 'normal people' to take away from the show was that despite all these famous and skilled people having problems, secret or otherwise, they all got on with their jobs and did their best.

Too often now people feel down, depressed or whatever and use it as an excuse to give up. As time goes on the message needs to be that we all suffer with anxiety, forms of depression etc but that you must keep going, but get help and support to rationalise how you feel.

Just to add to that I get there are different forms of this and some are very serious, and putting a brave face on isn't always possible. What I'd like to know is what percentage of people get those very severe effects though. If you went by what the media or social media are pushing you'd think it was a far bigger percentage than it probably is

Agree with the first sentence 100%.

The issue is that we compare someone situation to ourselves. So, as Sneag mentioned, people are having time off work because of stress for "doing their job" but Sneag, you've zero clue what that person is going through. You might think it's a load of BS but that person might be going through bankruptcy, a divorce, bereavement etc.

But, they might not be and just fancied a few days off. It's how to deal with that to ensure that others going through a truly torrid time get the help and support needed.

I'm absolutely all for the media exposure (I was clinically diagnosed with PTSD and went through channels to deal with the issues), but the cold vs flu thing is a perfect analogy; Robin Williams vs someone on Instagram having not slept for a few hours and feels low.

How it's dealt with is a generational thing, too. Born in the 60's, and it's often a case of just manning up, getting on with it, stiff upper lip, don't talk about it. 15-16 year olds are now being told it's absolutely fine to talk about those feelings and how to process them etc.

The stigma comes from those born in the 60's chastising and berating the younger generation as being soft.

[arsene wengers coat]

Of all the posters on this board, Sneag, you are up there with the best and I look forward to your views and opinions with a smattering of good humour. But that response shows that on this topic you are a dinosaur I'm afraid.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, and the most commonly told lie is 'im fine'.

There are so many variations of stress, depression, and anxiety with different triggers. I won't have it that you honestly believe that people make too much of this. For example, just because being a footballer to many is a dream job, with that comes expectations which can weigh heavily on the shoulders of young men, who are exposed to abuse on social media 24/7. Billy kee is an example of a footballer being in a position many of us are envious of, but having his own inner torment to deal with.

Regarding the 'are they really ill' statement, there will always be people looking to cheat the system sadly. But these cases are few and far between. It's like blaming the economic state of the nation on benefit cheats, while the multinational corporations go without paying tax. For every person faking it, there will be more people not getting the help they need. The comparison is not apples for apples.

'it were worse in my day and we didn't have all this silly none-sense' just isn't true. You did have it, but people trudged through life undiagnosed and miserable, but today we have a society that projects unrealistic versions of life and what happiness looks like that actually exacerbates peoples self depreciation. Footballer or not, this is a silent epidemic that is growing.

Ive got a family member currently in the Priory in Glasgow with life threatening anorexia. I don't know why she feels the way she does, but she's not pretending mate, and it will probably be with her for her whole life in some form. From the outside looking in, she had a great upbringing by two loving parents, well educated, well liked among friends. Nothing to worry about from your point of view, bit she is where she is.

We all have a very complex set of needs as humans, and they are all different. think of it from their perspective before making generalized statements. It's a very complicated and sensitive issue and mental health doesn't easily fit into boxes like a physical injury does.

[yorkshire stag]

1 in 4 of us are likely to experience mental health problems each year. This means that even more of us are likely to know and care about someone currently experiencing mental health problems. The most common mental health problems are depression, anxiety, and stress. Depression affects around 1 in 5 people and anxiety around 1 in 10. Another common problem is substance misuse, with 1 in 3 people having troubles with substance addiction at some point in their lives. Among older people, dementia is the most common mental health problem. Dementia affects around 1 in 20 people aged over 65, and 1 in 5 people aged over 80. Alzheimer’s diseases is the most common form of dementia. The stigma of Mental Health needs breaking or should I say educating, it’s a real killer and other people are more often than not the last to know.
it’s there if you bother to look for it, however it’s a silent killer

[Spiritater]

How many of us were depressed on 13th of May?

[CassellsCap]

The black dog has been in my life many times and anyone who has suffered knows the seriousness of this illness , years ago I was told to man up but nowadays people understand and to me that’s a good thing . Suffering in silence with shame and fear of what people think of you is an awful way to live so any help or education is a saviour and at last its more recognised . You can get better and life can be good again.

[robeyre]

Going back to Yorkstag's original point.

I'm sure most of our players felt devastated that they failed to get promotion especially after all the seasons hard work they have put in. So they would probably, like most of us when we fail, felt they were useless. To have some so called fans shouting at them, telling they were useless can't have helped the situation.

Having said that the majority of fans who stayed behind, did applaud them as they left the field.

Good post. Think the main point that was made was that as supporters we can make players worse by scapgoating and trolling. No player goes into a match wanting to look bad and let people down, making such accusations can only harm their subsiquent performances. Something for some on here to think about!

[gazza1988]

I've been saying that for years regarding the effects of abuse etc at games.

On the other points about "man up" etc. We live in a time where we can physically see someone 1000s of miles away in an instant, we can communicate on a massive scale. It gives people a global voice that can be heard. "back in the day" you communicated via letter or phone (long distance) or face to face. There was nothing out there to suggest what you was feeling could be talked about so nobody spoke about it. You buried it. You got good at burying it inside so you can't empathise with people going through a similar thing because you feel you need to live up to an outdated stereotype.

Some people feel they can't speak to people they know and prefer to talk to a stranger. Sometimes that talk to "unload" is enough for them. Anyone who feels people should "man up" really need to "grow up". Besides the "psychedelic" era of the 60s was perhaps their way of "dealing with it"

[Sneag]

I'm in no way playing down the seriousness of mental health issues. But have we gone full circle where we are looking at normal human emotion as an illness.

I've had my own traumas in the past that still affect me on and off. But isn't it 'normal' to feel raspberries after an event.

Grief is a natural coping mechanism surely.

Modern life is stressful, no doubt, but wouldn't learning cope with stress be more effective than going to the GP for meds?

I don't think you can play down how stressful the 'old days' were. The generation of my parents had s 5 year spell where they could be randomly killed at any minute. They worked in hard life shortening jobs, had a raspberries diet and a crappy standard of living. Were they are broken inside, or were they just better at coping? I dunno.

All I'm saying is not every setback in life is a cue for an outbreak of mental illness. Apologies to anyone I've offended, that wasn't my intention.

[spanishstag]

Agree with sneags post ,we all have crap in our lives ,some cope ,some cant or wont ,its called getting yourself up ,dusting yourself down ,my brother was in the army for years ,ireland in the troubles ,sure when he came home on leave he had his moments ,usually involving lots of beer ,its called life ,its not always good ,in fact some times its crap but its life

[spanishstag]

I'm in no way playing down the seriousness of mental health issues. But have we gone full circle where we are looking at normal human emotion as an illness.

I've had my own traumas in the past that still affect me on and off. But isn't it 'normal' to feel raspberries after an event.

Grief is a natural coping mechanism surely.

Modern life is stressful, no doubt, but wouldn't learning cope with stress be more effective than going to the GP for meds?

I don't think you can play down how stressful the 'old days' were. The generation of my parents had s 5 year spell where they could be randomly killed at any minute. They worked in hard life shortening jobs, had a raspberries diet and a crappy standard of living. Were they are broken inside, or were they just better at coping? I dunno.

All I'm saying is not every setback in life is a cue for an outbreak of mental illness. Apologies to anyone I've offended, that wasn't my intention.

Brilliant post

[yorkstag]

When I posted last night it was really in response to the programme - money status and success don’t protect you.

For those of you into cricket Graham Fowler’s book gives a great insight.

I’m not aiming the following at anyone for the purposes of this post but many players are young men and probably need support not criticism. 4000 people booing when you are 21 can’t be great and at times on here we all post our views and lose sight of peoples lives and feelings.

Sacking managers and releasing players is about people’s jobs and families.

Last night certainly made me think

[arsene wengers coat]

I'm in no way playing down the seriousness of mental health issues. But have we gone full circle where we are looking at normal human emotion as an illness.

I've had my own traumas in the past that still affect me on and off. But isn't it 'normal' to feel raspberries after an event.

Grief is a natural coping mechanism surely.

Modern life is stressful, no doubt, but wouldn't learning cope with stress be more effective than going to the GP for meds?

I don't think you can play down how stressful the 'old days' were. The generation of my parents had s 5 year spell where they could be randomly killed at any minute. They worked in hard life shortening jobs, had a raspberries diet and a crappy standard of living. Were they are broken inside, or were they just better at coping? I dunno.

All I'm saying is not every setback in life is a cue for an outbreak of mental illness. Apologies to anyone I've offended, that wasn't my intention.

No one's offended mate. And I agree that some people cope better than others. Some people take enormous amounts of raspberries and bounce back. Some people are vulnerable. Qu, Why does mental health need to be validated by an occurrence or event? A form of anxiety is Imposter Syndrome which typically affects high achievers. They suffer from a debilitating fear of being found out and become very worried the worst will happen.

Footballers are young lads who work.in a results driven environment, where they are on show and scrutinized. Not surprisingly they need protection.

[Barrel of the Best]

Modern Society is a strange place, in some ways it's easier than it used to be, but in others it's much harder.
Things certainly used to be more relaxed and basic. There was one phone in the house, you went to work for eight hours a day then did your thing. There was respected downtime.
Much different now, everyone is on demand 24/7 with their mobile phones and social media and there are high expectations in a materialistic society. People get into debt to meet these expectations and it all becomes a strain.
I'm not that old myself but I don't believe we live in a healthy mental place anymore.

My missus is a teacher and she said the amount of kids on anxiety and depression tablets is alarming.
Why is that?
I think their heads are overloaded through the same things mentioned above. They simply aren't mentally equipped enough to cope with the pressure that is put on them.

It can only be a good thing that people talk about their problems, everyone is built differently.

[garlic]

As someone who works with people suffering mental ill-health can I say that this forum has the capacity to amaze and surprise me by how well tuned in people are to the very real issues of mental ill health. Sometimes this forum can be a centre of mindless tosh, but this topic really shows that there are many subscribers who really have taken on board the reduction in the stigma about discussing these issues.